Thoughts
Tuesday, 15 May 2012
-
Lecture: Momentary Insanity
I'd like to introduce you to Abel, my guru. It is all very simple, really. I embarked on a self rediscovery about four years ago; and somewhere in the mist I met this colossal voice of guidance. It has been hard to confront some of the things he's proposed and theorized. He is always right. ALWAYS RIGHT.
Do you know how I know? Because he poses challenges, to seek answers were many do not venture. To be completely 'in your face' honest...to yourself. No euphemisms, no sugar coating. The most humbling of times, to say the least.
And his words, alone, Engaging. Inspiring
Abel proceeded to the front of the room. Pacing back and forth.. Hands behind his back.
" What is Bravery?"
"I repeat, what is Bravery?"
He smiled keenly because he knew the severity of this concept.
"Bravery, My Dear, is momentary insanity."
Hear it comes.
"Bravery is momentary insanity. The point where all reason and rationale are thrown out the way. Where passion meets impulse.
When you wear your insides out. Expose the true of heart. What beats in your chest. The very belief, idea, and being you surrender yourself to. The coming to terms in the mirror. That Yes this is what you need, want, desire, hope for. Acceptance, yes. And yet taking that acceptance and personifying it.
Bravery! Bravery is dousing yourself with passion for This. Covering every inch of your flesh. Slathering on war paint, dominating every bit of your soul. Let it fill your lungs. Find home in your limbs, your core: to Act.
Because your life, your very existence depends on it.
He walked centered, shaking his index finger.
"Bravery, my dear, is the breath every being seeks.
Because Without It, You Are Nothing."
Class dismissed.
Wednesday, 02 May 2012
-
P.S. I Love You
It's raining slightly and I've decided to watch P.S. I Love You. I'm feeling a bit romantic. That is not to say that it is unlike my nature to feel so. It very much is.
The first time I watched this film, I didn't last more than twenty minutes before I started pouring tears. The concept of losing someone you love madly, in that sense, boggled my mind. I don't think I know of anyone who could survive something of that depth. I know I sure as hell could not. I recall stating that if I was ever to go thru something of that sort that I would have to be locked up in a padded room.
I suppose that's what Love is isn't it? The Challenge and the Acceptance of it. The ability to feel so much for a someone, with the very important detail of respecting their Freedom, whatever the form. To remove any personal capriciousness. Reaching a point of Complete and Total Selflessness.
It is humble and it is Sincere.
Transparent.
No. I do not pretend to know what it is. But what it is, the notions of my ever engaged conscience, an attempt of understanding the Undefinable. The Acceptance of Freedom.
Of Love's many elements:
the bare exposure that is love.
The Bravery of bestowing Soul Stripped. No matter what the consequence.
Send him some love and light every time you think about him, then drop it.-Richard from Texas
Sunday, 29 April 2012
-
Miday Cake
"What do you really want?"
Honestly? "at this moment?"
"Yes, right this very instant."
"Cake."
And just like that I made my way downstairs, into the kitchen. Popped that box open and cut the most gratifying piece of Brazilian birthday cake I have ever eaten in my Life. Putting all facts aside..the fact that I have this incredible sweet tooth. Sitting there, alone, eating in Silence..It only intensified the sudden ease I had waken up with. It sounds completely ridiculous and I, in no way deny that. But simply engaging the act of Cake, did I realize I was Free.
Free. Free. What does it feel to be Free? What I can describe of being Free is but from my own experiences.
You know what it equates to? The quiet glow of Sunlight peaking in into your bedroom on Sunday morning. The marvelous sound of piano playing in the beginning of a ballad. Fireflies flickering in the evening. This is but glimpse.
Freedom walks your way when you disassociate yourself from Everything. And I mean Everything. Allowing yourself, Leaving yourself to be weightless. Your you emerges. Disarming every worry and thought that has devoured you.
Not many give themselves this luxury. I, for one, came across my Freedom in a time of Ruin, the road to transformation. -Liz Gilbert
These days, I've been feeling this disassociation more than usual. Let's call it the No Tolerance Zone. I turn to no one but myself. I ask myself what do I really want. Sometimes the answer is far simple. Sometimes the answer is something so basic. It's all I need.
Today, it was Cake. No worries about calories. The sugar intake. No worries about if I was going to fit the outfit I was going to wear today. No worries about impressing the guy who is so much the coward who doesn't want to commit. No worries of how it was 12 pm and I still hadn't gotten ready for the day.
The strangest peace brought by the strangest piece.
I am Free.
Are you?
Friday, 27 April 2012
-
Phoenix Rising
You look at me
with your interpretation of my character.
A misconception.
I'm more layers deep than you will ever be able to see.
I am
a phoenix
Phoenix Rising.
Strength and child.
Innocence and woman.
Bravery emanating from the flaring of my core.
I've walked too far for you to watch me fall.
The soul I've nurtured,
These wings
will not spread in Vain.
Monday, 23 April 2012
-
It is Exquisite and Blazing.
Breathe. Breathe in the naive truth that is that of your inner most thoughts.
No thoughts.
Emotions.
Emotions you, foolishly, believed you domesticated.
I no longer care of your opinion on this matter. Forgive me. My apologies. But if I continue to obligate myself to be part of this circumstance, I will surely do away with what defines me. Restraining that of which is humanly impossible to conceal.
It reverberates down to the very ends of my fingertips while my attempt to hush my words consumes me.
You should know:
it is Exquisite and Blazing.
Even more so with each day's passing.
You may think and do what you will. You always have.
But I,
for one,
out of respect for
This,
This,
Love..
I will set it Free.
How it should be.
Sunday, 22 April 2012
-
Vigorous Peace
I walk through this wood,
brushing shoulders with those baring teeth.
Brace arms and close eyes
They sibilate virtue
because I step barefoot,
trusted.
Pay no mind, no.
Where there are wolves, there are lambs.
Balance one can only admire from a distance,
discerning the vigorous peace that immobilizes such eclipse. -
Monologue
speaker
The manner to explain..
perhaps,
detail this:
what is occurring,
I can not find.
Though not by lack of encouragement nor by inspiration
But by it's chaste state of existence.
A concept too grandiose to be confined,
humanized, for that matter.
To the best of my capacity,
that I know of,
I will
I will grant her speech.
You will find her seated there, freshly, upon Silence.
laughing to the zephyr's breeze.
Hush, Hush
for her words are ephemeral and they will not be repeated.
Undulating wrist along the water
I tuck a flower behind my ear,
a reminder of where I've been and what I've seen.
It is so facile to get lost in mundanity the of things
She rests her cheek on her knee, hiding gaze in current
Stress' tresses wrapping around limbs.
A restraint I choose not to remember.
She squints her eyes
Light
Light found me quite suddenly,
its many talents.
Sun stopped time..
pausing
for me
to dance to the sound of children.
to hear my soul,
a melodious voice that crashed against the waves so serenely.
I fell in love,
in love with the life that has been so beautifully given to me.
All these innate aspirations manifesting
she, holding chest
here.
cascading over me
Even more so to celebrate this,
this Glow.
My embracing of the incredible
of the unimaginable
Me.
Monday, 16 April 2012
-
A Wise man once asked me..
A wise man once asked me what it was I searched for throughout this land. I replied, " I am but a humble servant and My core, my master." My only purpose to obey its wishes and those wishes; all of one.
It's facile to drown in the mundane routines of life. However, I have a constant yearning, burning. This lovely reminder embedded onto my flesh and there's not a thing I can do... nor would I want it to.
He stared quite confused and asked me to embellish on my thought. I leaned in and whispered, " The truth is it can be so simple and no one realizes this." I smile .
You see, I believe my soul was made of two and I forever seek lost half.
He took in all that I spoke. "My soul.." I continued.
My soul wishes to be ephemeral as a windblown kiss
Gentle as a Lover's gaze
He nodded. "But you see, your reality, your society won't let my soul be. And damned as I maybe. I'm afraid that without his completion I will cease to exist."
Sir, what I seek and hope for is Love.
Sunday, 15 April 2012
-
State of Your Nation
Is it valid to say that the gift of 'more' is a rare piece to come across.
Population collared by preoccupation of occupation and its capriciousness.
Antics clothed and adorned by such scrutiny of Ignorance and Malice.
left in the void:
the virtue of Peace and Sincerity
Such a sin.
Such a shame
Perhaps in the eyes of a rather idealistic individual,
this manner is of no sense.
Like all wrongs justified.
There is ,
of course,
a response.
A Great Declaration as to why such primal advances exist.
Survival: each to their own.
As if violation of the feminine,
starvation of the juvenile,
and poverty of the defenseless
would grant you one more day in this life.
"For the greater good."
For the greater good you say?
And that would be for you?
Of course.
Only selfish incentive could 'logically' excuse such a heinous agenda.
of course, Sir.
Only your craven attributes could excuse your state of affairs.
Thursday, 12 April 2012
-
David and Goliath: covert ops, A Narrative
I have always felt that society has underestimated me. I have had my fair share of emotionally unstable/egotistical giants. Bullys, the seventh grade teacher who gave me an F just because she didnt like me, the cashier at Panera's..the list goes on and on. I made that teacher recheck the test by the way. Loved the face she made when she realize I really scored a B+. But that's a story for another day.
For about two years now, I have felt like a covert ops field agent. I, playing my part of David. Ironically. And I laugh because this set name has a certain sentimental value that I can not disclose here. Why? Because I just might have to kill you, that's why. Ahh, you liked that didn't you?
My operation had been going a little less then smoothly, with a couple of altercations here and there. Now the thing about being covert is that you have to and I mean HAVE TO, remain discreet and rational. Any red flags and you blow your cover. Discreet: I can manage. Rationality: That was a task.
There is one thing I can't stand: Disrespect. It's like lighting a piece of Dynamite or forgetting to step on a ciagrette bud in a gas station. You're just asking for it.
Childlike tantrums and disrespectful comments that aren't even true or of any kind for that matter.. really doesn't get you anywhere with me.
So how could I swiftly close this case without it ending messy and any loose threads. Easy. You let your target come to you. They will never see it coming. And the best weapon: KTK. No it's not a new line of nuclear explosives.
Kill Them with Kindness. Yea, a tactic my lovely therapist introduced to me four years ago. It has a 100 percent rate. Foolproof and affective.
So I braced myself last night. I realized that this plan was coming to an end and I had to get out now before it blew up in my face.
I will face my Goliath in hand to hand combat and I will win just because I'm David. That's right, good old Biblical Reference.
- browse entries:
- older »
ZZephyrus
-
- Name: Zurine Cadena
- Location: Newark, New Jersey, United States
- Birthday: 10/13/1989
- Gender: Female
- Member Since: 9/29/2003
